10/20/2014

I need to recap a few things on here so that later on I can refer back to how I felt these last few days. I don’t want to forget.

Yesterday was a really good day. We slept in, because after all we had been out late the night before at that Halloween party. We got up and did our laundry. Then we watched Supernatural for a while. Then we went to our friend’s house for Walking Dead. The usual crew was there, including P. Shit, I like that girl. But now that I got my feelings off my chest I did feel a bit more comfortable around her. I know where her boundaries are. So we traded some small talk throughout the show. There was one particular instance when she was asking me questions and our other friends kept interrupting, and it was kind of funny how she reacted, putting her hands up on either side of her face to eliminate the distraction. It was nice. She focused on me for all of ten seconds, and I appreciated it. The night went well, we had some chili and I had a pumpkin beer. I brought chocolate pudding for everyone. Good times.

Today kiddo and I had appointments at the eye doctor. I had 9 a.m. down on my calendar, but I got an email saying 9:40, so we arrived a little before 9:30. Well, it turns out that kiddo’s appointment was 9 a.m. and mine was 9:40 a.m. The Ex had scheduled them, and the reminders had been confusing. So the long and short of it was that kiddo had to be rescheduled for 9:50, but she had to see a different doctor. It was also a little confusing that the Ex wasn’t there…I thought she might attend, but she didn’t show up so I didn’t think anything of it. Well apparently she forgot and then she tried to text me, and I said we were at the eye doctor, and she got all upset for having missed the appointments. Then she found out that kiddo was seeing a different doctor and had a horrendous episode of being very disrespectful, she had me flat out question the other doctor’s expertise right in front of him while I was on the phone with her. It was embarrassing. The other doctor did a fine job, our eyes were perfect. But the Ex wanted things her way and was upset with me for not doing….*something*. I’m not sure what. I guess she was upset that I didn’t call her to remind her to be there, and that I didn’t throw a hissy fit when they scheduled kiddo with a different doctor. I told her she was overreacting to it all, that I was doing my best given the circumstances, and that I had gone above and beyond in spending almost $100 to have them to do the full battery of tests on us to be thorough. I thought she would appreciate that. Instead she was just critical of me.

She got back to me later and apologized, but it was an amazing reminder of exactly why I don’t want to be with her anymore. She’s a control freak. She wants it all done her way regardless of how rational (or irrational) her way is. I did a fine job of handling the consequences of my mistake and she couldn’t accept that. She also got upset that we didn’t need her anymore, or at least that’s how she put it. I clarified that I don’t need her, but kiddo certainly does, and she didn’t want to hear that right away but I think she understood after she cooled down. I went out of my way to say that if she wanted me to schedule another appointment with her preferred doctor, I would. I wanted her to know that I felt bad about screwing the times up, and that I would do things to rectify the situation.

But like I said, it was a validating experience. I am so glad that I don’t have to live with that anymore – that controlling, disrespectful, unbending attitude. It reminded me of the good job that I am doing with kiddo. It’s not always easy, and it doesn’t always work out the way that I want it to, but on the whole kiddo is doing okay and we are getting by. I had money in the bank to pay for a thorough eye examination for both of us and we are healthy, the peace of mind is worth the money I spent. And we have a pretty good and open week ahead of us, I’m looking forward to getting some relaxation in after work today. We’ll watch some more Supernatural I think. Good stuff.

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