I saw trying to think of something to write today, and then I saw this.
I’m pretty sure I have done 23 of those things (including the spaces because space is fucking awesome). And, well, that’s plenty for today.
So I did sleep well last night. And I woke up five minutes before the alarm went off. I didn’t snooze it, I just got up and showered, woke kiddo up, cut up an apple for breakfast, and did a little internet browsing. Came to work, got some shit done. I’m not sure what my evening plans are. Kiddo is waffling about doing the Christmas show at the theatre, so we might end up going to town and auditioning for that. I should clarify – she can audition for that. I’m not doing the Christmas show. I need a break. I need some relaxation, some Netflix binging, some Chinese food for dinner while I’m wearing pajamas and not shaving kind of stuff.
I feel good though. I don’t feel upset. About last night, or anything related to it. I’m seriously okay with how things went down. The worst case scenario in my head DID NOT happen. She didn’t say EWWW GROSS NO WAY or ignore my message entirely. She responded. And she said that she was trying to figure out who she was, and that she wasn’t ready to date anyone. And I’m okay with that. I have been in that exact position. I’m still kind of there, but I think I’m getting closer to knowing who I am and all that business. I hope that she accepts my feelings as a complement of sorts. Even if she’s not open to dating, I want her to know that I admire her, that I think she’s doing the right things. Whether she ever takes me up on my offer to date is beside the point.
So now the only unknown is what happens on Sunday. Our Sunday evening TV watching parties are kicking off again this week and I will be absolutely fine being in the same room as her, but I just don’t want her to feel uncomfortable around me for having told her how I feel about her. I am hoping that our little agreement to still be friends means that she’ll be okay with it. Well, maybe if she’s a little awkward around me it will be okay because maybe that means I make her nervous and she likes me just a wee little teeny weeny bit 🙂