I’m going on a big business trip tonight through Thursday afternoon. I’m really nervous.
I’m dropping kiddo off at the theater for her rehearsal and heading straight back to work where I’ll meet my boss and we’ll drive two hours into the city. Then we’ll work tomorrow until early evening, eat dinner, spend the night again, and get back up on Thursday and try to head home just after lunch.
I don’t know what to talk about with my boss during the car ride. I don’t know what I’m doing job-wise…I guess he’ll tell me when we get there. Then there’s all this report writing that will happen when we get home as well. I don’t know what to eat, what to drink, what to wear, what to say, and my friend J said I should go exploring tomorrow night but I’m just not the type to do that. I feel like a loser saying that, wouldn’t a normal person want to be downtown late tomorrow night checking out the nightlife? I just don’t. I immediately chalked it up to being an introvert, but that seems like a cop-out. It’s because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of “what if”. What if something happens to me? What if I spend money that I could have saved for a rainy day? What if this? What if that?
But let’s be honest – even if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn’t go out by myself. I don’t have any interest in meeting new people or eating by myself in some dark bar. I want to do those things with somebody else. What does that make me? A romantic? I don’t know what the term would be.