On Sunday I re-activated my online dating profile. On a whim. Just to see what else was out there. I still like girl #1 and I’m excited that she said she would go out with me again, but she never reaches out to me. I want something deeper than that. Does that make me needy? I don’t know.

So I put up some new pictures and refreshed my profile, and started getting some notifications that people were viewing my profile, and a few people said they wanted to meet me. One girl who lives just a town away from me did this. We traded a few messages back and forth. Things seemed like they were clicking. By that night we had exchanged phone numbers and we’ve been texting ever since.

So she is officially girl #4, and if we’re still talking by the end of this week we’ll go grab a drink somewhere. She’s a little bit younger than me but she’s a single mom, she works overnight so it’s a little difficult to communicate but I think this could go somewhere. She’s cute. She doesn’t seem to want to move too fast. I like that.

Do I feel a little bit guilty? Yes. But as much as I want to start saying “what if” this and “what if” that, it’s just not worth it. I will not appease the chatterbox in my head. I deserve to have friends and have fun.

On an unrelated note, I took a big step outside of my comfort zone at work yesterday. I disagreed with my boss to his face – respectfully, of course – and even though things did not go the way that I wanted them to, I think maybe he may start to see me as more assertive which (I think) is a valuable thing. I was pretty frustrated about how it all went down so I went home and ran my fastest mile time yet, 9:40.


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