Tonight is the opening of the play that girl #1 is directing.

I would go. But I can’t. I just can’t. I just can’t verbalize my rationale, which is frustrating.

I think it has something to do with what I talked to my counselor about yesterday; how I am creating space between me and everyone else so that I can make my decision in a vacuum of sorts. And if I see my friends, and girl #1 in particular, tonight I will be breaching that space and allowing my decision-making process to be affected by how I feel about other people.

It’s frustrating but it’s what I have to do. I need to find something else to do tonight, some way to get it all off my mind.


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