3/27/2014

I’m growing more and more nervous about Saturday. That’s when I go with my friends – girl #1 included – to a show at a theatre I haven’t been to before. It’s not a kids theatre, it’s the big deal, dress up and all that business. I don’t know what to wear. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know anything. We’re having dinner beforehand so I have to worry about what I eat too, because if I wear my damn suit it’s going to constrict the hell out of me and I won’t be hungry but I need to eat because girl #1 thinks I have an eating disorder because every time she sees me I refrain from eating, but it’s just because I get so nervous around her that I just don’t think about eating or have no desire to eat. And I’m also worried about saying the wrong things, or not saying the right thing, because this is FINALLY our second date and it’s been all of five months since we had our first date. It was October 30th. Seriously, that’s five months ago. On one hand I feel like maybe it was good that it took so long because we have both been super busy, but on the other hand I’m worried that it took so long because maybe I just didn’t know when to stop asking. I just went back and looked – since our first date, I have asked her four times to go out and four times I got a “no”. It was always “it’s too late”, “I’m too busy”, etc. So one yes, four no’s, and then another yes. I don’t know. I can’t make heads nor tails of this all. I’m just nervous and I think that after Saturday the ball will be in her court, I can’t keep pushing.

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