Several times over the past few days, I have found myself looking forward to writing. Ideas have popped into my head that made me go, “Oh, I should blog about that!” It’s a good feeling.
I think there are a few reasons why I have been looking forward to writing.
First, I have been making an all-out effort to avoid Facebook at work. I would like to say I’m avoiding all social media and distracting internet things, but…baby steps, right? Facebook is the biggest time killer of all, though, and over the past two days I have been incredibly productive. I would point out that I have been avoiding Facebook at home as well. There is no good reason why I would need to check it so many times. Which gets me to my next point…
Second, I have been trying very hard to not think about girl #1. I’ll have to read back through some previous entries, but I know that there was a point a couple months ago where I said I was over her and obviously something happened that pulled me back in. I have been stressing out over whether I should keep asking her out or not, whether I should even try to keep communicating with her, when all I get is mixed signals. I ended up soliciting an opinion from a kind listener at blahtherapy.com (which has been a lot of fun to use, FWIW) and we agreed that the ball should be in girl #1’s court now. I have asked her out several times, I try to talk to her on Facebook but she takes so long to reply, I just can’t get closer to her than I am now and it’s time to let it go. Just saying those words makes my heart beat faster because the over-eager puppy in me wants to keep going after her, but there really doesn’t seem to be a point. If she is, in any way, interested in me then it’s time for her to engage me, not the other way around.
Last night I wound up deleting the Facebook app off my phone altogether. A theatre friend invited a bunch of us out on Thursday night to shoot pool and sing karaoke. I made a concerted effort to ignore the ensuing conversation, which included girl #1, and as I tried to go to sleep my phone kept buzzing over and over so I got rid of the offending app. It felt good. I need to be hard to get. I don’t want anyone to think that I’ll drop everything just to spend a minute with her. Kiddo and I should go see a movie that night, we’ll both be better off for it.