12/30/2013

I feel like I should set some resolutions for 2014, but I’m not sure what to write down. I’d like to lose about 20 more pounds. I’d like to get back in the groove with school – I’ve really let things slide this term. I’d like to find cheaper and more local hobbies. Driving to the city every day gets expensive and time consuming. I’d like more friends. I think that’s a big one, and also one of the biggest challenges as well. I’m not easy to be friends with…like, real friends. I’m good at shallow workplace relationships but not friendships. I want to wean myself away from the constant phone checking and mindless web surfing. I’d like to make more progress with my porn addiction. I’d like to get professional counseling. Maybe that’s the first resolution to start with…this week, I’ll make an appointment. That would give me the ability to talk through these issues with someone instead of simply journaling them.

Oh, I’d also like to learn a lot of things. Ballroom dancing. Painting. Cooking. Coding. Archery. The list goes on and on. And while I’m learning all of that stuff I’d like to keep doing all the things I have learned to do thus far; acting in plays, singing, blah blah blah.

Too much shit to do. Then there’s the balance between my own well-being and kiddo’s well-being. I need a different environment than she does, that’s for sure. She needs to be out and about, otherwise she gets in trouble here at home. I need home time so I’m not out and about getting into trouble.

I need to set some goals. Financial goals, business goals, personal goals, etc.

I just don’t want to think about any of that right now. I’m feeling exhausted and I haven’t left the couch all day. That’s not a good sign. Maybe today just needs to be an introvert day, although I have a feeling that tomorrow and Wednesday will be the same. TV and books, and music. All by myself. That will really be the difference, you know. The difference between being alone, and being lonely.

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