I have so many things to do today, but I don’t feel motivated to do any of them.
I have school work to do. I didn’t do all of my assignments last week, and this is only the second week of the classes. That’s not a good sign.
I have some record keeping things to take care of at work, but honestly I’m not feeling ecstatic about being here right now and I know I can always push things off until tomorrow. My friend might be taking a job elsewhere. My role doesn’t always seem meaningful.
I have web design work to do. And accounts receivable to collect. Sigh…
I have to cut the grass. My lawn mower doesn’t work. I have to take out the trash. The garage is a mess. I have to do the dishes. People will make them dirty again. And it’s not like I haven’t had any personal time…I’ve been to two baseball games in four days. And there’s been plenty of time to watch television. I just feel numb lately. I think there is a big difference between being lazy and being exhausted. I feel exhausted.
The three days I took off last week may have felt like a vacation, but they were not a vacation. I had no time to just sit for an extended period of time and relax. I was teaching in Lansdale. I was driving to New York. I was meeting in New York. I was driving to Pittsburgh. I was teaching in Pittsburgh. I was driving home. I was meeting in town. On and on. All day. Every day.
Can I give up yet?