I’m not sure why, but lately I have been having a lot of second thoughts about what I should be doing with my life. My job at the school district can be very fulfilling at times, but even when it is I feel as though I am not contributing enough. Or perhaps that I am not doing something that I truly love. I wake up in the morning and do not feel excited about what I am doing, and I see that as a major problem – I refuse to be yet another person who goes through life “anaesthetized”.
So all of this leads me to the big question: what am I supposed to be doing with my life? What will make me happy? What will make my family happy? It is a bit of a puzzle, and I know what several of the pieces are, but I am having a lot of trouble putting them together. What I do know is that:
I need to show my love for others by serving them
I need to act responsibly
I need to follow Christ’s example
I need church to be a major part of my life
I need to be actively engaged in things that I enjoy doing
I need to support my family
I need to raise a good child
My first thought is that I should quit my job and become a preacher, but I don’t believe that people should be paid to be missionaries. I think about opening a food bank, or some other not-for-profit charitable organization, but would I enjoy it? It’s no easy thing to run an organization like that…there are challenges. I have thought about opening my own businesses – web design, property management, restaurant, etc. – but would they be fulfilling? I would be able to set my own rules, and work toward a mission of my own choosing, but again there are always challenges. What would Jesus have done? He was a carpenter. He wasn’t a public employee. Is that the direction I should take? Or should I stay at my steady job and fill in the gaps with hobbies?
I’m not sure. It is frustrating. I need to pray about this and be patient, I suppose.