My last post was on Monday.
Tuesday was a lot like Monday. I had an appointment with my counselor. I worked. I dropped kiddo off at camp…super exciting, because she was spending the night. I was looking forward to some alone time.
Everything is different now. I don’t think I’ve ever had my life uprooted so quickly before, without any notice. I’m still in disbelief.
I went home around 5. I discovered that my electricity had been shut off – I guess I missed the notice. I was frustrated. I called in and paid the bill. I changed clothes and went for a run. I ran 2.35 miles in my old Skeletoes. I showered, changed again, and went back to work to charge my phone and fool around.
Thunderstorms were in the forecast and as I drove to work I noticed the sky getting dark in the distance. There was a definite “edge” to the clouds. I arrived at work, went inside, and looked out the front door to the building I work in. I’m a bit of a weather nerd so I was curious to see what the clouds looked like. They were getting darker – there were even some signs of low-level clouds in the distance. As they got closer, they formed a distinct gust front. I took a ton of pictures.
The storm brought some intense wind and rain. It was really quite impressive. The trees in the distance whipped back and forth violently. It took all of five minutes to pass by, but we lost power briefly two times and people who had taken shelter in their cars had no choice but to sit and wait the storm out.
The storm passed, people drove away, and I went back to work.
I heard some reports of damage here and there, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
Around 8:30 I heard that some power poles in my town had been knocked down and that most of the town had no power.
I left work around 9 and wasn’t surprised to see no lights in town. I pulled into my parking spot and that’s when I noticed a few disturbing things.
There was yellow fire tape around my apartment.
There were giant pieces of something all over my yard.
In the dim evening light I walked around one side of my place and saw four or five giant pieces of what looked like a roof lying on the ground. There was also an old rusted television antenna lying on the ground where it had snapped off of its base. A couple of medium-sized limbs were down too.
I walked around to the other side, stepping carefully under the yellow tape and around more debris. I walked into a parking lot next to my place where a couple people were talking. I told them that I lived there and asked what happened.
One man said that *something* flew two blocks and hit my home. I could see that there was a big dent in my roof and that there was more of the same debris perched on my roof and along the side of my apartment.
My landlord and his family showed up. We went inside. There was no power, so with a flashlight we went upstairs into my bedroom. A hole had been torn in the ceiling. The ceiling itself was bowed in. It looked like it might collapse. Wood and insulation was all over the two plastic dressers that sat along the wall. Dust and other particulate floated through the air, choking me.
I grabbed as much as I could – clothes, mostly – and took them downstairs. I called my parents and asked if I could spend the night at their house, which was just a mile or two away. I was in shock. I was in survival mode.
What the FUCK was happening?
I gathered up my clothes and packed them in a suitcase. I grabbed some items from the bathroom, some shoes, a phone charger, anything I figured I would need overnight. I drove to my parents’ house and they didn’t have power either until shortly before midnight. I slept on their air mattress.
It felt like everything I had worked so hard to build up over the past year had been knocked down.
I took off work the next day and the Ex came down and helped me to get everything from the upstairs into my first floor. All of kiddo’s things. Everything but my mattress, which was covered in debris. That took most of the day. By mid-afternoon my landlord had cleaned up the big debris in the yard and put a tarp over the hole in my roof, which was good because it rained a little bit.
In my moment of need, the Ex decided it would be a good idea to talk about our relationship. Standing there in my apartment with a giant hole in the roof, I had to defend my reasoning for wanting a divorce.
She took advantage of my weakness. Tried to, anyway.
I picked up kiddo from camp last night and had to explain all of this to her. She was surprised but didn’t get upset until I mentioned that we might have to move. She doesn’t want to move. Which is funny because up until now, she’s regularly expressed her dismay with my apartment and how it creaks and groans at night. I feel awful. I tried to create stability and consistency for her, and now we can’t live in our home.
I went back to work today, but in the morning I stopped by an apartment and started making plans to ask my landlord to terminate my lease early.
I vented to my friends a bit. I got more of a response than I expected. P said she understood my frustration. That made me feel good. I think that’s what I want, more than anything – to be understood. I want somebody to say “you know what, I’d be frustrated too in that situation. I’d be overwhelmed. I’d need somebody to talk to. So talk to me.” They went out for drinks last night, I wish I could have gone.
I don’t work tomorrow. I think I’ll go disc golfing again, by myself of course. And then I’ll keep working on plans to get out of my apartment, since I can’t live in it and I imagine that repairs will take a while. The place I looked at is nice, it’s recently updated and has two bedrooms and a new kitchen and washer/dryer hook-ups. And it’s in the same school zone we’re in now. And the rent is over $100 a month less. We’ll see what happens.
But yeah, I’ve never had things turned upside down on me so fast before. It’s hard to focus on anything. I told my friends last night, I just want to sit on my couch and watch Netflix. When I can do that again, I’ll breathe a sigh of relief and know that I got through this mess in one piece.